The Gossiping
by eesia
Summary: Sam, Dean and the gossiping


_The hunter's world is very small. And the men like to gossip…_

* * *

Imagine you're in one of those cheap motel rooms where walls are so thin you can hear every sound and find out interesting things.

"Did you know, Dean, that Ash has a crush on Jo?"

"And how do you know that, Sam?"

"Because I'm a very good observer"

"No, you're not that good"

"Yes, I am"

"No, you're not"

"I am. I know that Jo has a crush on you"

"That's no secret. Even if she wrote it on her T-shirt it wouldn't be more obvious"

"True… OK, I know that you desperately wanted to have a pet when you were 8."

"That's not true"

"Yes, it is, Dean. You even caught a few mice in that cheap motel in Washington. And you kept them till they ate Dad's Latin textbook."

"So? It doesn't prove that you are a good observer. It just proves you have to know all the secrets"

"That's not true"

"Yes it is. That's why you were so pissed off when I finally told you Dad's secret. You couldn't stand I kept it so long from you. You should be more careful, Sammy. Don't you know that the curiosity killed the cat?"

"…but satisfaction brought it back. I don't want to know about other people's secrets."

"Good. I was afraid I would have to tell you a secret, but thank God, it's safe now"

"What secret?"

"I think you don't want to know"

"Um… Is it something about me? Dean, did Dad tell you something more?"

"No, it's not about you"

"Is it something about YED?"

"No."

"Is it something about someone we know? Is it something--"

"OK, OK, I'll tell you, but first promise me, you won't tell anybody"

"What are we, 12?"

"I don't know, are we?"

"Dean!"

"Promise me!"

"Cross my heart"

"Bobby and Ellen are having an affair"

"What? How do you know?"

"Because I'm a very good observer, Sam"

"Yeah, right. How, Dean?"

"You see, one secret is not enough for you. You have to know everything"

"Whatever. How?"

"I told you, I can see these subtle details other people are missing--"

"How do you know, Dean?!"

"Ash told me"

_The same time__, similar room, different motel_

"Bobby, I think we should stop doing this"

"Why?"

"Because Ash thinks my mother and you are having an affair"

"What on Earth made him to think that, Jo???"

* * *

A/N OK, I'm kidding. I couldn't resist. It was like $100 bill on the sidewalk. And nashirah, were you telling me about dirty, sick OTP? And I'm not even ill. Beat that ;)

* * *

_A week later, similar room, different motel__, this time for real_

"Bobby, I think we should stop doing this"

"If you mean stop hiding from the world and sneaking together to the crappy motel rooms, I agree, Ellen."

"I mean stop seeing each other"

"What? Why?"

"I think Ash knows about us. And if Ash knows, everybody knows. Even Winchesters"

"Sam and Dean? Come on, Ellen. They don't give a damn"

"I'm not sure. Last time they were at the Roadhouse Dean was making naughty allusions"

"He always does"

"But this time Sam was kicking him to stop"

"Um…"

"I just don't know how Ash figured it out. Not that he's stupid or anything but sometimes he's blind like a bat."

"I don't know. Anyway why can't we be officially a couple, Ellen? I even started thinking about expanding the family. After all, we're both adults"

"Maybe it's because of my new underwear? I'll kill that rat if he was sniffing through my underwear!"

"Ash would never do something like that"

"Are we talking about the same Ash?"

"Yeah, you're right, he is capable of doing it. You know what? I'll kill him myself next time I'm at the Roadhouse. But tell me why can't we see each other anymore? Jo is an adult--"

"But it doesn't mean she is mature. For mercy of God, she has a crush on Dean Winchester."

"And Ash has one on her"

"Really? Ash has a crush on my daughter?"

"Really. God, I feel sometimes like I was stuck in the middle of some soap opera"

"…Ash has a crush on Jo? I didn't know. How do you know that, Bobby?"

"Oh, I can see these subtle details other people are missing"

"Do you men always use the same lines? Because Dean said this the minute before he noticed Sam had glued a big piece of paper on his back with a inscription _Pink is ♥. Do you have a problem with that, bitch?_ I don't know why he hadn't noticed this earlier, because this paper had been stuck to his back for an hour and Sam had been nearly choking trying to suppress laughter. And when Dean finally discovered it, he tried to choke Sam for real"

"God, I wonder how John managed to raise these two, even with his military training. Why would anyone sane want to have children?"

"So Bobby, what were you saying about expanding the family?"


End file.
